The rules for proposing marriage in Nanjing can be divided into the following six steps:
1. Departure
On the day of engagement, the groom carries the betrothal gift and sets off for the bride's house. The person who goes to the bride's house should be the elder relatives and friends of the groom, including his parents, the groom to be, and his cousins. They must arrive at the bride's house before noon.
2. Content of the betrothal gift
The dowry money (usually given at least 10001 yuan in Nanjing, meaning one out of ten thousand);
Three golds: gold necklace, gold bracelet, gold ring (additional: gold earrings);
Four gifts: tobacco, alcohol, tea, cake (or roasted pig heads, etc.).
3. Introduce the relatives of both parties
The relatives and friends of the groom enter the banquet hall in order, formally introducing both parties' relatives and friends. The elders of the bride greet the relatives and friends of the groom to take their seats according to age, with the groom taking the last seat. After sitting down, formally introduce the relatives and friends of both parties. First, introduce the relatives and friends of the groom to the bride, and then introduce the relatives and friends of the bride to the groom.
4. Payment made
The groom's staff brought the dowry into the banquet hall, and the bride accepted the dowry and displayed it one by one. Gifts such as betrothal gifts, gift money, and three golds should be handed over to the parents of the bride.
5. Talk about details
The female party makes corresponding pre - and post marriage requirements to the male party (according to the needs of each family), such as when to buy the diamond ring, how to collect the funds, and who will pay for the decoration and home appliances before the marriage.
Who will pay for the cigarettes, alcohol, and sugar on the day of the wedding, when will the drinks be served at home, and what is the change fee (usually in Nanjing, the minimum change fee is 2888 yuan, which is paid by the parents of both the man and the woman to the bride and groom respectively. That is, the parents of the man give the bride and groom a portion of 2888 yuan, and the parents of the woman are the same as above)? And when will the change fee be paid (usually in Nanjing, it is paid when both parents are served tea at home on the day of the wedding).
6. Return gift
Within three days to a week after the marriage proposal, the bride (the bride to be and her parents) goes to the groom's house with items such as tobacco, alcohol, tea, cake, indicating that the proposal is complete.