Wenming is the second ritual in Chinese wedding customs, which refers to the act of the groom inviting a matchmaker to inquire about the bride's name, birth date, and eight characters after receiving the gift, in order for the groom to predict and determine the outcome of the marriage. Some men may also send envoys to ask for the surname of the woman's birth mother in order to distinguish between legitimate and illegitimate. Later, the scope of questioning expanded to include various aspects such as family background, position, wealth, appearance, and health. In addition, asking for a name requires bringing a gift, usually a goose.
1、 Source of Name Inquiry
1. Naming is the second step of the "Six Rites" in ancient Chinese weddings. He also said, "Asking for a name: Those who ask for a name will be blessed with good or bad fortune
2. The annotation of Fang Shi in the Book of Rites also states: "When asking for a name, ask the mother of a girl about her family." This means that when asking for a name, a goose is used as a gift from Zhi Jian.
3. The fourth volume of "Baihutong", "Marriage", states: "To collect, inquire about names, offer blessings, invite dates, and welcome relatives, we use Yan Zhi. To collect, we use Xuan Qian, so we do not use Yan Zhi
2、 The Importance of Asking Names
1. Both men and women agree on a location
Both parties agree in advance on the time and location of the meeting, preferably at the woman's home. If the woman has other ideas, respect her wishes.
2. The man brings a gift
Asking for a name cannot be done empty handed. The man needs to bring gifts to show sincerity, such as cigarettes, alcohol, sugar, tea, specialties, clothing, etc.
3. Timely inform the female party of the results
After the man inquires about the birth dates and eight characters of both parties, he should promptly inform the woman of the marriage result. If there are no issues, he can start negotiating the wedding date.
4. The groom begins to prepare for the wedding ceremony
After the questioning, the male party should start working on Najib, recruitment, invitation, and welcoming.
(1) Najib: Refers to the divination of the birth dates and eight characters of both men and women, usually performed simultaneously with asking for names;
(2) Recruitment: The man sends a double number of women to present gift letters and betrothal gifts to the woman's family;
(3) Request: The groom's family chooses a wedding date and prepares gifts to inform the bride's family, seeking their consent;
(4) Qinying: The etiquette of a man marrying a woman to his home. After the welcoming ceremony is over, the six rituals are considered complete.